I had a very interesting talk to do with my PhD adviser, Troy. After finding several PhD programs interested in my background and wanting me to participate with them, it started to dawn on me that the bulk of the opportunities available to me were not particularly focused on scholarship, science, and academic camaraderie. Rather, there was what seemed to be a very transactional aspect to the whole enterprise. It became more and more clear that the environment of my department at University of Nebraska was exceptionally benign and well meaning relative to any of these other programs I was evaluating. I was offering 50 years of experience and a proven track record to people who, generally, were only interested in what advantage they could obtain rather than how the community could be served. I am very much less disposed to continue down this path after this discussion and, especially, after my discussions about this whole topic with Troy and my son, Christian who is an MIT research scientist.
I am beginning to think I did this as a result of the great experience I had in community at University of Nebraska after losing the church community of the first 67 years of my life. It turns out that even though the stakes are much lower and do not include eternal life, realizing the community that seemed to provide meaning really never existed in the first place. The thing that I am most thankful for in all this is that it pushed me away from unrealistic expectations about mere human institutions to the only ones that have any meaning–those that are found in Jesus Christ.
