I made it to Psalms in my current read through the Bible. Psalms 1:1-2 says “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.” I am starting to have a new understanding of the the times and a sense for my place in the world. I hope I am not too far off base or too cynical about the world or both. It does not seem like an accident that this Psalm follows the book of Job where Job’s friends were, in some sense, speaking for God and completely missing their responsibility–well not completely, they did sit in silence and mourn with him for seven days. The thing, though, that seems obvious to me that somehow evaded my understanding before that Job captures very well and the verses above spells our specifically is that our allegiance is to the Lord and the Lord alone. I take two things from that–my job relative to those around me, especially my friends and fellow travelers, is to show charity to them and not speak them like I am speaking for the Lord.

The other thing is that no one is good, no not one. Our righteousness is as filthy rags. I feel very much estranged from the institutional church in general and the institutional church where I was a member in particular. I have no doubt there are Christ followers in at least some of those churches, but it feels like most church culture, no matter the denomination, is driven by the spirit of Job’s friends. Psalms 1:1-2 says to stay away from that and obey the Lord. The problem is my awareness of my own sin coupled with the knowledge that fellowship is essential when it is available. Is our culture such a fellowship desert that we are all essential in the same boat as Elijah when he thought he was the only one? Of course he was not the only one and neither am I. I just am more and more aware that there are no institutions that will alleviate these feelings. Maybe that applies to the church, especially, but it certainly also applies to government, academia, business, and society at large.

I am not sure what I am supposed to do about this, but it feels correct to me and good that it has been brought to my attention. I guess the thing to do is just keep reading and praying. One thing for which I am eternally grateful is a wife who does that with me.